17 Feb The Office: When Your Direct Report Is Your Friend

Dear Executive Woman:

A very good friend of mine, who had been a colleague, is now my direct report. How do I manage her without losing an important friendship or giving the appearance of favoritism?

Signed,

Furtherance or Friendship?

Dear Furtherance or Friendship?

First of all, congratulations on your new position!

Every promotion comes with challenges. The adjustments that come when graduating from peer to manager can be complex, especially when a close friend is involved.

Perception matters as you acclimate yourself to your team, says Megan Dalla-Camina, founder and CEO of Women Rising, a career empowerment organization. You don’t want to give anyone the impression that your friend will get special treatment, because favoritism—whether real or perceived—can quickly erode morale and credibility.

Make performance expectations explicit, offer feedback equitably, and ensure opportunities are distributed fairly, Dalla-Camina says. “Be consistent, transparent, and open to feedback from others. Encourage your friend-turned-report to uphold the same professionalism, reinforcing that the team’s success is the priority.”

While you may have confided in each other as peers, stepping into a leadership role requires discernment in what you share, she says. “Be clear about work discussions staying professional, and ensure private conversations don’t influence your leadership decisions.”

Clarity is key to making a successful transition, Dalla-Camina adds. “When you handle the relationship with clear communication, strong boundaries, and an unwavering commitment to fairness, you not only preserve a meaningful friendship but also strengthen your team and organization.”